Running is shit at the moment.

Everything has gone to shit.

I’m about this close to saying, ‘fuck it, I’m just gonna chuck it in and be a fat prick’

Why?

My foot is sore. Tendon damage they say, though the doc hasn’t called me back.

I train for 20 weeks to break 100mins for a half marathon and then my foot goes and I run 1:42 in pain. Everything is going to shit and I can’t stand it.

So I’ll stop for a week. We’ll see how that goes. Then I’ll have a crack, then an enforced lay-off. So basically I lose all momentum from my fitness.

If you haven’t picked up the underlying tone of depression here well I’m putting it out there now.

This is fucked.

Actually the only thing saving me is the fact I get to do nothing. I’m actually enjoying the extra time relaxing. I enjoy the fact I don’t have to run for 2 hours tomorrow.But in the same breath I feel guilty for not exercising, and I kinda want to - if it wasn’t raining and freezing. The internal battle of the wills is doing my head in. I should just stop, recover and then hit it again. But I kind of feel guilty that I don’t miss it enough.

It pisses me off.

Goals are disappearing quickly. But I have acheived from a base worse than this before and I can do it again, the annoying thing is can I hit the new targets from this point?

Fuck I wish I was healthy.