For some reason I feel like I am going nowhere.

I have run the 400kms to the end of march, 33 more than any other year, yet despite that considerable improvement I feel as if I have nothing to show for it.

I guess it is no PB’s and only a marginal weight loss. These are the goals I’m after and although some of the means are there I just don’t have the confidence (I should?). I’ve got about 3 weeks until my next race (a problem in itself) and I am really unconfident that I’ll get that 10k PB. I guess this is the point where I have to re-examine things.

Can I run a sub 3:30 marathon? I have no idea how I can. I am flat out running 5:20 6k runs, well not flat out, I actually have a fair bit in the tank, but I need to find that tank. I need to get up to that 176bpm average run more often and try and see just how hard my body can work. At the moment, I only do that in bursts - but I need to do it more often and for longer otherwise I’ll never make that improvement. I guess I need to run quicker to run quicker - in all forms.

I should be able to squeeze out sub 50min 10k street runs. Sure it will hurt, but the benefits will come.

With so much going on in my life, I can’t really focus on running as much as I would like, but I don’t think I could do much more. So if I’m doing my best, (which I am - I’m running to plan) why am I dissapointed? Are my goals too lofty or am I just a perfectionist? Probably a bit of both. I want to succeed at everything. My masters, teaching, being a dad and husband. There isn’t anything wrong with that, but maybe I’m just going to have to be happy with not acheiving the same levels that I have previously. That is hard to swallow.

I guess all I can do is keep running.